New Year's resolutions for every behemoth in Europe's top 5 leagues

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Individuals and football clubs galvanised by their wills to change are one and the same.

One wants to cut out carbohydrates, while the other harbours a desire to concede fewer goals. With the Gregorian calendar ushering in a new year, an opportunity has presented itself for both individuals and European footballing superpowers motivated to change.

With the continent’s domestic leagues at the midway point, here’s a look at some New Year’s resolutions for 20 of Europe’s biggest sides:

Ligue 1

Paris Saint-Germain: Win the Champions League or else a dormant inferno resting deep within the fiery chasm that is club CEO and chairman Nasser Al-Khelaifi will incinerate Unai Emery where he stands. Happy New Year, PSG.

Monaco: Convince Leonardo Jardim to stay. Sure, the manager is on Monaco’s books through 2020, but other sides are sniffing around the gaffer who’s displayed a knack for getting the best out of players.

Lyon: Keep the band together. Jean-Michel Aulas’ pockets got a boost from a slew of summer sales that were followed by some shrewd buys, and suddenly, Les Gones are one of Europe’s most exciting young sides. Resist the urge to sell Nabil Fekir and coveted teen darling Houssem Aouar.

Bundesliga

Bayern Munich: Settle the managerial situation. Jupp Heynckes appears set to lead Bayern Munich to another domestic trophy, but with the pensioner stepping down in the summer, the club can’t afford another failed coaching experiment a la Carlo Ancelotti.

Borussia Dortmund: Sort out the backline. Borussia Dortmund’s slide from top spot in Germany was a result of poor defending, and with one clean sheet in the league since September, BVB lacks both a leader and confidence at the back.

Schalke: The third-winningest club in German football has quietly climbed to second in the Bundesliga thanks to a brilliant young midfield, but with Leon Goretzka and Max Meyer set to leave on free transfers, young manager Domenico Tedesco needs to move mountains for the influential pairing.

Serie A

Juventus: Wrap Mehdi Benatia in pillows. Who would have thought a year ago when Bonucci, Barzagli, and Chiellini manned the backline that Benatia would be a principle reason for Juventus’ midseason resurgence a year later? The Morocco international has been exactly that, with the Old Lady keeping a clean sheet in each of Benatia’s last seven appearances.

Roma: Keep it simple. Sure, Roma could do with more goals, but with the fewest goals conceded in Serie A (11), an astounding standard of three matches played in the league without allowing a shot on target, and five victories by a 1-0 scoreline, the Giallorossi’s best Scudetto chances rest on sticking with the current formula.

Napoli: Strike while the iron is hot. Napoli hasn’t won the league since Maradona’s 16 goals led the Ciucciarelli to the title in 1990, and with the club’s best opportunity for Scudetto honours surfacing this year, January upgrades could help push Maurizio Sarri’s lot over the line. A proper replacement for Faouzi Ghoulam would be a good place to start, and another wide attacker wouldn’t hurt.

Inter: Depth. Luciano Spaletti’s Inter charges have performed admirably this season, but the lack of depth is starting to show. A second striker to help lessen Mauro Icardi’s load would help, as would another centre-back. Added competition on the wings could push the slumping Ivan Perisic and Antonio Candreva.

AC Milan: Figure out the best XI, drop Nikola Kalinic, offer Franck Kessie a breather, determine what the heck is wrong with Bonucci, and for the love of Paolo Maldini’s piercing blue eyes, sort out Yonghong Li’s finances. Just those five items, and countless others.

La Liga

Barcelona: Clone Lionel Messi. All jokes aside, Barcelona looks great, and is leading La Liga without an in-form Luis Suarez or prodigious signing Ousmane Dembele.

Real Madrid: Finish your chances. Real Madrid leads La Liga with 18.8 shots per match, but has scored on just 30 occasions, the same output as Celta Vigo and 15 fewer than Barca. Would help if Karim Benzema hadn’t transformed into Joselu in the offseason.

Atletico Madrid: Celebrate the end of a transfer ban by shipping out those who have become surplus to requirements like Yannick Carrasco and Nico Gaitan, and replace them. Easier said than done.

Premier League

Manchester City: Cement plans for the title celebrations.

Manchester United: Teach Jose Mourinho the virtues of attacking football and the benefits of altruism by letting Luke Shaw and Henrikh Mkhitaryan move to clubs that value their efforts.

Chelsea: Do right by Michy Batshuayi. Antonio Conte needs to figure out if the Belgian is Alvaro Morata’s deputy or if he’s not good enough. Either way, give the lad who scored last season’s league winner some insight on his role with the club.

Liverpool: Prepare for next season’s title challenge. Virgil van Dijk’s record signing has mutated a formerly unbalanced Liverpool side into one which should harbour serious Premier League ambitions next year, and it’s time the Reds shift their mentality from a club with top-four hopes to one that believes it can win the league in 2018-19.

Tottenham: Pay your players more. With Hugo Lloris and Harry Kane Tottenham’s top earners on a reported £140K a week, Spurs risk losing their best players if they can’t dole out wages similar to that of the other sides in the top six.

Arsenal: Where do you even start with the Gunners? Snatching some responsibility from Arsene Wenger’s autonomous control would be a decent start, as would signing a replacement for Alexis Sanchez. Also, offer Mesut Ozil knighthood and a club-record wage.

(Photos courtesy: Getty Images)

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